It's easy to get hurt once you've given yourself to being vulnerable to someone. Especially if that someone is 7000 miles away, and you don't know where you stand, or even how you know the person, if you know him well enough. Just that you've fallen for him and know you want him awfully is enough to be vulnerable.

I'm again hoping this will not turn out the way others did, or as badly as the other one did. I hate getting into something serious, me feeling really happy and giddy but then not getting that back from my significant other. I'm not looking to play around; I don't have time for games.

No, I take it back. I go always for something serious, but going for it means also expecting it back, which usually turns out not in the way I want it to.

I am deeply afraid of getting hurt again. I am scared that I will not be able to withstand another storm if another storm comes. I am open to being vulnerable, but hopefully only to the right person. But how will I know?

As my mother tells me, I think too much. I go too much into rationalizing every aspect of it until it crumbles down to simply not measuring up. Can you blame me? I'm not one to go for my feelings if I know they aren't true anyway. So when I want to be calculated, so be it; it may just lessen the hurt I get most of the time.

On the other side of the fence, though, my friends keep telling me I'm smiling too much lately (too much means more than all the time, as I'm known to always be sunny). I hope this means something good.