personality

I took a personality test, and these things are just so true about me. Read on.

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

distracted

This is a post to tell the whole world how distracted I've been the past few months.

Yes, it's hard to admit how much I've been way off mark. I've been out of focus. I've never ever been as distracted as I am. I do get distracted at times, I have my moments, but this is the longest and most confused off-the-mark me. (And knowing the real goal-driven me, I never stop until I get there. So this is not me.)

I know the cause. I feel what the cause has done to me since day one. But it still has not stopped me from getting away from it. I want it too much, too badly, to get away from it.

But why? Why would I want something that has caused me so much distress the past months? Too much that it may even cost me my own future. I have to remind myself that I'm graduating, and now is not the right time to be wayward.

I am surprising myself that I even want this, because it has not been in any of my plans, ever. I have always been that girl with the goals and the dreams. I used to know what I want out of life. Now I'm totally confused.

I went through an emotional mess this past semester. It's difficult to admit that I had nervous breakdowns throughout these past months, and I was so scared that I even readied myself to put myself in professional treatment. I had moments when I thought I would have heart attacks just from the fatigue and the emotional stress I've been going through.

And for what is all this? I'm going through all this heartache just for what?

I can't believe I'm even in this, but it's all too messy for me to be in. I can't go on and live my life this way, I have to brush it all off and stand up again. I am a total mess, but it's not too late for everything.

I'm clinging to this but why? It has never given me enough reason why I should be here.

I need a reason to believe that what I'm going through is all worth it. All this emotional mess must be a sign, but I've been willing to go through it all, as long as it's worth it.

Give me a sign, Lord. I'm lost. I'm lost. I'm lost...

Los Banos my first love


May It Be - Enya

I miss Los Banos. Sunday afternoons and smooth jazz do this to you: wraps you in melancholic thoughts.

I miss Los Banos. It was my heaven, my escape from the world I am so used to living in. My two-year stay has been that epitome of wistful love, and no place has ever taken me as much as Los Banos.

In the back of my mind I knew I would not be destined to stay in Los Banos the rest of my life. I was there as a transient, I will move on to better and bigger things. If I hadn't left after two years, I still would have left after four years. I had always known that, but still, I loved Los Banos and wished that Los Banos would be my home forever.

It's like a summer romance. I know it's just for the short while, and real life will happen later on. But it did not stop me from falling as hard as I could, just as summer loves usually are.

Before, I found hard to imagine to live a life outside Los Banos, but I did. I stayed for four years in Diliman, and didn't look back. But when did I look back, simple glimpses (even through pictures) of my memories--SU Building, Humanities steps, my old dorm, Carabao Park, Vega, grove, ACCI field... they all remind me of those times I wished were forever. Time used to pass by very slowly but very quickly.

Reminiscing Los Banos is like remembering an old flame. I have moved on with my life, just as Los Banos has moved on. Everything is still the same in Los Banos, but I hardly recognize it anymore. Los Banos does not recognize me, too, I have moved on from that dreamy writer-to-be to become a researcher with everything almost in her grasp.

I always say that Los Banos is like a passionate lover, someone you want but would be completely impractical and impossible to love, because Los Banos, while passionate, is held within that time you met and will change. Los Banos is a first love, and everything changes since that first love. Diliman, on the other hand, is like the perfect life partner, someone who is ideal but does not have that flame that attracted you to Los Banos in the first place. Diliman will be with you forever, will provide for you, but will never be like that first love.

I miss those days when Los Banos molded me to dream, but also to be afraid. When it molded me to stay strong, to have ideals and goals in life. It made me someone whom Diliman would love.

In UP, traditional love still rules

By Mariel Kierulf Asiddao
Philippine Daily Inquirer

Last updated 17:15:00 02/13/2009

Original link to the article here.

WHILE V-Day for many is SAD (Single Awareness Day), don’t fret if you’re NBSB or NGSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth or No Girlfriend Since Birth); you are not alone.

In fact, if you are from UP, you are in the majority.

In a recent study done by the UP Communication Research Society about perceptions of, attitudes toward, and practices of romantic love among UP Diliman students, three out of four students identified themselves as single. Majority—41 percent, have never been in a relationship, while 36 percent are single but have been in a relationship.

The rest are in open or exclusive relationships, or engaged.

The survey, which sampled 312 students from 16 colleges within the university, can be generalized for the student population of UP Diliman, though further studies are encouraged in other colleges and universities to look at college students’ perceptions, attitudes and practices toward romance.

The respondents were asked to describe love using 15 pairs of words on a semantic differential scale. According to them, romantic love is attainable, fun and mature. However, it is not clear if one has to be mature to achieve it. Even then, while romantic love can be mature, it is not boring, but fun and enjoyable.

Partner preferences

The survey looked at the students’ preferences in choosing a partner, and found out that respondents do not take physical appearance as the most important factor in a partner. Good moral character (remember GMRC in high school?) is at the top of the list, followed by personality and intelligence.

Gender or sexual orientation is also a top factor in partner preference, as is the family. A potential partner should have the makings of a good spouse as well as a good family background. The consent of each others’ families is also important.

Physical appearance is, of course, also important, though the respondents look at the overall appearance and not just attraction to a partner.

Results also show that students are more open to dating people outside their own social circles. Race is the least important factor, as well as the possibility that potential partners might come from other schools outside UP and from other nationalities. Political views and skin color, presumably because of race, also rank lowest.

Expressing love

Constant communication is the most important expression of love in relationships, according to the respondents. So, while people may be busy, it is important to keep in touch with each other. Respondents see their significant others also as confidants; sharing secrets is important in a relationship.

Celebrating special occasions together and going out on dates follow as important expressions of love in a relationship.

Meanwhile, displays of affection, sexually intimate acts and sexual intercourse rank lowest in expressions of love. While UP students are thought to be liberal, or more liberal than the average student, the study showed that they are still traditional in terms of relationships. They do not seem to give much importance to sexual intercourse.

Commitment, intimacy, passion

According to Robert Sternberg, the psychologist who developed the triangular theory of love, the three components of love are passion, commitment and intimacy. Among the three, commitment is seen by UP students as the most important element in relationships, specifically getting through relationship problems and making the relationship last.

Intimacy, or feelings of connectedness and closeness in relationships, is manifested through the experience of happiness when being with their significant other and receiving emotional support, as well as through complete and reciprocal trust.

The respondents ranked passion as the least important among the components of love. This refers to physical attraction and sexual consummation in relationships. Not surprising, as physical attributes and sexual intimacy do not rank as high in partner preferences and in expressions of love in the study. However, the nurturance aspect of passion is ranked high in importance, though this is nurturing in the emotional and not the physical sense.

As ‘nagmamahal’ and as ‘minamahal’

As giver of love, the respondents are most willing to give emotional support and trust to their significant others or would-be significant others. They are also willing to give affection as well as gifts to show their love.

Respondents are also willing to give academic support through helping with school work and projects, or even just encouragement from academic stress.

Meanwhile, they are least willing to give sex or sacrifice their virginity in a relationship. They are also not willing to give financial support to their current or would-be significant others.

As receiver of love, on the other hand, UP students expect in return what they would give to their partners or would-be partners. They expect to receive trust, emotional support and affection in return.

However, they do not expect sex from their partners and their partners’ virginity while in a romantic relationship. They also do not expect their partners to give them financial support, which can imply that UP students wish to have financial independence from their significant others.

Traditional values

The results of the study imply that, contrary to the widespread perception, UP students are still traditional in terms of relationships. While they can be liberal in terms of their views and opinions, relationships are still traditional to them. Sexual acts and sexual intimacy are not deemed as important to make relationships last.

UP students prefer what is within the person—his or her personality, character, intelligence—than what is outside, such as nationality, skin color and race. That means they are also more open to dating people outside their own social circles.

AWOL excuse

My absence from the face of the blogging world has to be explained: I was doing thesis. Haha. So many days I have been wanting to blog, especially during days when I want to rant about the particularly stupid ways this administration has been running amuck in this country.

I have been busy with thesis, and February was my last month as head of our organization, so pretty much my life has been hectic that blogging became the least of my priorities.

But now, time to kill. What have I been up to?

I'm slowly progressing in my thesis, thankfully, I've been working so hard but people don't seem to want to participate in this study. I can't blame them, though, as their lives aren't wrapped around the seemingly innocuousness problems I have, my thesis is not their problem anyway. Besides, they don't see the kind of urgency or need for my advocacy in media education. Leave it to the traditional way of thinking and teaching, I guess.

I am going to graduate, this I have in the back of my mind. I am going to finish this and submit it, even if it kills me. I am going to graduate this April.

For so long I have wanted to graduate, it's nearly here! I WANT to graduate. The two-year delay has cost me a lot, but even then, I have enjoyed my extra time. But I think I will be overstaying my welcome; I have been in Diliman for four years and I have to leave.

I am also not particularly fond of the inquisitions as to why I haven't graduated yet. People seem to think something is wrong with me for staying six years in college. I have transferred, hello. But people don't seem to care. They think I'm dumb to have taken this long to finish. Well, I admit to having my stupid foolish moments, but who doesn't have them anyway. But I'm not so dumb as to have flunked my subjects to overstay in the university. As it is, I want to finish the soonest possible time.

Oh well. I'm going to post a rant soon enough. But for today, I want to share the article published in PDI that I wrote. It was published a month ago, wtf, but still.

I miss this blogging. Plus I miss the ranting about the politics in our country. Don't know when I'll be back, but enjoy.

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